Finally, I have retired after thirty long years of service at my job, and it is time to get out of here for good. I am moving out of this frozen tundra and heading for sunnier pastures. For some time now I have noticed that the winters up here in Maine are dragging on me more and more. Every year seems to feel a little bitterer and take that much more out of me. So instead of waiting for the icy winter months to drag me into an early grave, I’m going to load up my van and head down south. Of course, I have to sell my house first, which is proving to be more of a hassle than I thought. Particularly since I had an inspector do a walkthrough and they found my radon gas levels to be a bit on the high side. This is disconcerting for a couple reasons. First, it means that my wife and I have been breathing in a bunch of cancer-causing gas for a while now, but also, now I have to do a bunch of renovations before anyone will buy this place. I have to find the crack in the foundation letting the radon in to seal it. That is easier said than done. I have looked around downstairs and haven’t found anything even resembling a crack or hole in the foundation. Nevertheless, there is radon around so there must be a crack somewhere. Hopefully, I can find the crack and that will be the end of it because I don’t want to put any more money into this than I have to.