My extended family are a weird lot. I know plenty of people feel that way and have strained relationships with their kin, but I feel as though I have an extraordinary case. I only found out recently that I come from a clan of weirdos, including several professional carnies and someone my mother would only refer to as my “cat uncle.” I have no idea what that means. However, I do know a thing or two about my cousins, and they are strange enough to make my case. I am convinced that they are not human. Explain this one to me, they are obsessed with their HVAC system. I know plenty of people who care about their indoor comfort, but I’ve never seen such an advanced heating and cooling setup before in my life. First of all, they had a smart thermostat installed that is automatically programmed to keep their house at the exact air quality and temperature to match the sub-tropical climate of the gecko. It costs them a ton of money each month to pump that much heat and humidity into their home. They actually use micro misters to add extra moisture into the indoor air! Secondly, they have radiant heated flooring installed throughout their entire house. They continually talk about how they love the advanced heating reliability and accuracy of their new heated flooring system. However, they also openly talk about sleeping on the floor in order to soak up every ounce of heat to keep their blood pumping. If you aren’t yet convinced, I understand. I might be willing to let their strange heated floor obsession go, if it wasn’t also for the heated basking lamps installed throughout their whole house.